Income levels and OL dating profiles

[Joe Jensen]

Scot,

A question came to mind as I listened to one of your "online dating profile rating" episodes...I've internally debated whether or not to forthrightly answer the "income" question on the profile. Currently, I have "I'll tell you later," for reasons discussed below:

PRO
* On one hand, some women may use income level as a search criterion, and thus my profile may not be reaching the broadest audience.

CON
* On the other hand: (1) I make decent though not spectacular cash, but may attract the "gold digger" sort, and (2) while it is unlikely that anyone from my workplace may see the figure (I believe in a Grand Canyon-sized separation of work and play), I negotiated my initial offer to a higher sum and do not want to raise this issue.

Your thoughts?

[redchic]

I'm not Scot, but I am a women who uses online dating sites and I think you're better off not putting your income on your profile. The EXACT range is only an issue for the golddigging type. If you are clear on your profile about your job and what you love about it, any girl who is worth having won't eliminate you without a number.

[Scot McKay]

OK, here's another angle that someone else I know is struggling with. What if you are nearly 30 years old and still a full time student, therefore with no income? What is the best way to handle that on an online profile?

Women appear to be shockingly intolerant of his life situation online.
_________________
Scot McKay
Founder
X & Y Communications
scot@xandycommunications.net

[Brandon Alderman]

This is kind of a hard question to answer without knowing the full extent of the situation. In this specific instance I'd say he is either "going back" to college or he's still in college getting an extended degree like a doctorate most likely not a masters. Or he is an extremely indecisive guy and can't figure out what he really wants to major in. I bet the little addition to the scenario is he's still living with his parents.

Nevertheless, even if he is getting that extended degree it wouldn't be difficult to find a job that somehow relates to you major and still be able to take classes that wouldn't conflict too much with his job/career.

Being a 20 year old college student myself and still milking my parents I plan to be out of the house once I get my first bachelors in 2 years or so, regardless of the extended schooling I want to get.

But there are always other circumstances so as far as a profile goes I think you'd really have to beef up your activity level in the things you enjoy doing and not mention that you are jobless or pennyless. I think it's somewhat proven that women don't generally need men to provide for them and perhaps he can narrow his searching to search for women who have the extra cash and don't care that he is still "schooling." But he still has to have a strong purpose for not having income besides just going to college.

A good movie that comes to mind is "Failure to Launch." Although it's a little different of a situation, the main character (Matthew McConaughey) is a pretty active guy, paintballs, rock climbs, etc., and still gets the girls he wants before they even know he lives with his parents.

I would say, leave it out, meet some women, and stick it to them later. As long as he can put the purpose of it into a great sensual explanation he could get around it for a time.

[Joe Jensen]

With respect to the "student"...if anything, it's the dreaded "less than $25,000" line sells oneself short and doesn't cover the entire situation. He could easily describe his situation under the education blank (e.g. studying full-time at XXXX college).

If he's 30 years old and studying full time, he may have accrued a good few life experiences during that time that could differentiate him from the pack. (did he spend time traveling the world? taking care of a sick parent?)

If I return to business school, I may be that "30-year-old student" in a couple years. I will put just that: "I'll tell you later" and the income-line filterers will be sorely disappointed.

[uncle_buckman]

It looks like men have got it hard on this one.